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Reconciling a Church Split
[…] an elder of a local church in China had not spoken to each other for four months. My heart ached when I heard this news. In John 13:34–35 Jesus said to his followers, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are […]
Opening the Door to Reconciliation
[…] to people, Wang Fang said, “In the past, I wasn’t willing to apologize because I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. I felt I was right!” 1 How rigid or flexible is your thinking about yourself and that other person in the area that you disagree over? Do you find yourself viscerally digging […]
When a Gift Is Not Enough
[…] This specific list was pulled from <em>RW360</em>, “Seven A’s of a Biblical Confession—Get the Log Out of Your Eye,” accessed December 17, 2021, <a href="https://rw360.org/seven-as-of-a-biblical-confession/">https://rw360.org/seven-as-of-a-biblical-confession/</a>.</p><ol class="wp-block-list" type=" 1"><li><strong>A</strong>ddress everyone involved (all those whom you affected)</li> <li><strong>A</strong>void if, but, and maybe (do not try to excuse your wrongs)</li> <li><strong>A</strong>dmit specifically (both attitudes and actions)</li> <li><strong>A</strong>cknowledge […]
Prayer First
[…] Note: Watch for Jolene’s forthcoming book, Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Your Relationships, for more examples of how prayer can impact movement from being in conflict to experiencing restoration in a relationship. Available on Amazon starting January 14, 2024. Li Jun (pseudonym), author interview, 2019. Zhou Na (pseudonym), author interview, 2019.
Heart vs Surface-level Reconciliation
[…] be published book: Changing Normal: A New Approach to Conflict, Face Issues, and Reconciling Relationships. John W. de Gruchy, <em>Reconciliation: Restoring Justice</em> (Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2002), Kindle, chapter 1, section 2. Zhang Jing (pseudonym), author interview. Surface-level reconciliation in Chinese: 表é¢ä¸ÂçÂÂåÂÂ好 (<em>biaomian shang de hehao)</em>. Li-Li Huang, “Interpersonal Harmony and Conflict for Chinese People: A […]
Barriers to Apologizing, Part 2
[…] going to apologize, first I must accept that I am lower than you. Face, however, says that I cannot be lower than others, thus there’s a tension. 18 I grew up with an entirely different framework regarding apologizing. In my cultural environment, owning up to sin or a mistake by apologizing, while uncomfortable and […]
Working Our “Initiate Conversation” Muscle
[…] Changing Normal: Break Through Barriers to Pursuing Peace in Your Relationships, to learn ways to initiate conversation that don’t exacerbate a situation. Available on Amazon starting January 14, 2024. Matthew 7:3-5: “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own […]
Are You in Conflict?
[…] starting in an unseen place first: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4: 1). I began to wonder, where does the “explosion and shame” view of conflict come from? I found roots to an answer when researching what Confucius had […]
Peacemaking Across Cultures
"Changing Normal" in Chinese!
Changing Normal has become 《和好如初：打破人际关系中的僵局》, currently available as an e-book, with paperback editions expected in late summer 2025.